Hope is an amazing thing. It finds a way to exist where it would seem impossible. It hangs in when it shouldn’t. In the blackness of the blackest night, the light of hope appears out of nowhere. For those looking for the way out of the darkness, it can be the light that shows the way, it can just be knowledge that there is more than just the darkness, and perhaps most often, it can be just a flicker. It can tease those using it to show the way. It can leave those that know there is more than darkness wondering, maddeningly why it seems it is so elusive and uncontrollable. And when it seems to have faded, and darkness seems complete, it appears.
Hope, when it comes to a fan of a team that is in the Top Ten losing teams, is a vicious tormentor. Like a cat chasing a laser light dot in the hands of a sadistic dog, we are in our chase for success always, forever frustrated. We chase so hard and with such abandonment of our own self-awareness in our surroundings that we lose control and wear down from exhaustion. Closed eyes bring dreams of success, and when we awake, the cycle begins once again. Like Groundhog Day, fans are on a continuous loop. Eyes open and brings the light of hope. The events that follow are repeated again as the have for what seems like forever, and with the end of the day, the light of hope gives way to the darkness of night.
This morning, having my first cup of coffee, I decided to look at the betting odds to see if the change in UTEP’s Offensive Coordinator had had any affect on the odds. I don’t know if it has or not. It has changed in that UTEP is now one point more of an underdog than they were before the announced change. Kugler’s statement that the team would return to the running game may have made it impossible to tell. However, as I sat there, I found my self thinking, what if the team came out with a fire, and started running and passing, doing whatever they want, for big chunks of yardage! Gawd, I’ve had those thoughts so many times. Gawd damn!, I have those thoughts so many times before! Ridiculous! I mean, good gawd, how many times can a person fall for the same trick?! Fool me once, fool me a hundred times? Shame? Come on, how much further past shame can it get! Fucking hope. I’m sure. Nope, not this time. That hope is like a gorilla stuffed in a trash can and my brain is sitting on the lid. Hope! That’s my new name for the damned gorilla. The thing is, I know that bastard is going to get out again, before the game ends, and night brings darkness and Hope goes back to sleep.