by accident. Haskins was coaching the girls high school basketball team and driving the bus when we hired him to babysit the dorm where the football team was having too much fun-NOT to coach basketball. He accidentally broke the rules and we won a National Championship! The UTEP/TWC head honchos had no idea he could coach basketball! They didn't just stumble onto the Hall of Fame basketball coach, he did it in spite of them! Then they lost him to Defuckingtroit! Luckily for us, he hated Detroit and came back to El Paso where he could hunt and drink and not have to worry about the press! He could raise his kids here and the people of El Paso loved him. They never really paid him the money he deserved, because he didn't demand it. He coached and lived the life he wanted. They instead built the Don and he made them tons of money. Since then, the coaches that could have been good were hired by accident and allowed to escape, Gillespie to A&M and then Kentucky, Barbee to Auburn, and Sadler to Nebraska.
How about football, because that won't take long. Once upon a time we had Bum Phillips. We got a head coach from the University of Massachusetts Amherst. Let that sink in for a minute. He accidently showed that he could coach, had what, three NFL Hall of Fame to be coaches on his staff, and he was gone to Mizzou. Did we offer the job to any of those Hall of Fame caliber assistants? Nah! My guess is we spent a bunch of money to find our next loser. Thank God, Mike Price was so humiliated in such a public way that nobody would touch him. So we offered him the job, and since his two sons were coaches who also had lost their jobs in the fiasco Price was willing to come coach the Miners. And as soon as they got a chance, he was fired! For our next loser who was so bad he quit in disgrace halfway through a standard UTEP season of football where winning zero all the way up to 2 wins is what is common and expected! Next up on the train of losers is our current head coach who has won one game against a single FBS opponent in two years AND we got a real steal so we got him for 5 fucking years!
We could do better with the Palmist of Mesa Street picking coaches! And she could do it for a 10 dollar bill. Hell, she could coach us to more wins than Dimel the Dummy! Meanwhile, Senter collects a damned good monthly paycheck for his hires. Including the fucking Fresno State throwaway! If we put a fucking Aggie in charge and told him or her to see if they could make UTEP worse, they couldn't-and that is an aggie trying, but we pay good money to be this bad at it. Amazing! Astoundingly beyond belief insanely ridiculously amazing. The only thing maybe more amazing is the belief that El Paso is such a bad place that no one will come here. Stop and think about that. Have any of you ever been to Fresno? Just think of the places where other universities are and tell me about how horrible El Paso is. Sorry, that is pure Grade Triple A bullshit in a can. There are millions of kids who come from places where you can't step outside without having to duck the flying bullets, the neighborhoods are tarpaper shacks, and they are asshole deep in dirty snow half of the year. Nope, El Paso ain't it. I'll admit it. I don't know what it is. It isn't that the Sun Bowl is built on Indian burial grounds, either. The powers that be at UTEP, have multiple ways year in and year out of finding ways to bring fuckedness to UTEP. Other universities have degrees in studying the ways we find to be bad and offer doctoral programs in it. Jeopardy could have an all time champions face off of how to make UTEP win and not have to pay a dollar to the winner. They wouldn't even have to plug in the buzzers. But any one of us could step outside, pick up a branch with a fork of two twigs and divine a coach better than what we damned near always pay search companies to find us.