Month: July 2017

I grew up in a small town, a suburb of San Francisco/Oakland.  In the 1950’s the war was over, the United States had straightened out most of the world and the economy was booming.  A few years earlier my parents had joined many others from the Midwest and had migrated to the promised land-California.  Our street was one of a new sub-division and the homes were bought up by young couples starting families.  Our street had at least 20 kids on it of varying ages.  Kids moved freely from one house to another.

Behind my house was the elementary school playground.  It was a huge field of well mowed weeds, mostly.  There was a huge backstop leftover from the Oakland minor league ball club that had played there and a baseball diamond.  We had enough kids to play baseball and football.  There were three basketball courts, too.

Everyone had skates.  They had metal wheels and attached to the leather soles of your shoes using a key to screw clamps tight.  The lines in the sidewalks made for quite a bumpy ride.  However, on weekends, when the school was empty, so were the outside hallways.  These were cement, very smooth cement broad sidewalks that were covered and had wooden rails, and posts holding up the roof.  They formed long straightaways and turns to make an oval track.  A track to play roller derby on.  We whipped each other around and knocked each other over the rails, sliding on metal wheels on the slick smooth concrete making the turns, squatting down and sticking outside legs out for balance like a speed skater on ice.

Once the bearings failed in the wheels, the ball bearings became slingshot ammo.  But each skate had four wheels and the skates would separate in the middle so that there were two pairs of parallel wheels from each skate. Four pairs of wheels, so now with one failure, we are down three.  Ah, with two pairs of wheels, a 2×4 board, which was available everywhere from all of the construction in the area, a hammer and four or more nails and we had a cart.  Very simple.  Put the wheels at each end, sit on the board and have someone push you by your shoulders.  Add a second 2×4 nailed perpendicular to the first at the front, brace it with a block of wood and maybe put a handlebar on it and we had a scooter.  A wooden peach crate made a Cadillac version as it was like having a cowl.

Back then, little girls got baby dolls and they pushed baby dolls around in baby buggies.  Those were treasured for their wheels and axles, after they were outgrown.  Those four wheels mounted on a frame of three 2×4’s with a bolt through the front board and the center board allowed it to turn.  Feet went on the front board, which had a piece of rope attached making reins to hold onto, and allowed us to steer.  The person who was pushing you down the street tried to push as fast and as long as they could.  It was always dangerous.  And incredibly fun.

We could not have had a better childhood for anything in the world.  We had friends, we had rivals, they changed at times.  We had all we needed if we had a hammer, a few nails, scraps of wood, and wheels.  Hell, the girls rode around on broomsticks, galloping and neighing, pawing at the sidewalk while they talked, before riding off.  If we didn’t have wheels, no problem!  We didn’t need anything.  Go hide and I’ll see if I can find you.  Hide and Seek could go on for hours.  The day was done when it got too dark to see.  I think the children of today have been shorted on their childhood.  Of course, I am old and that is what old men say.  I’ll tell you this, I have lived mine and watched my children live theirs and I would take mine over theirs.

Have you ever seen the picture that asks you which you see first, the ugly old woman or the beautiful young lady?  The reactions are varied, of course.  Some see both, some see the ugly old woman and not the other while others see only the beautiful young lady and not the old woman, and there are those who see neither.  I guess there would be the group that saw others things like in an ink blot test and then there could be those who saw it as impressionistic art.  In a  way this is my point.  Looking at the same thing people can see a lot of different things.  When people see those things in different ways they think differently about them.  They feel differently about them! And, most important of all, they work back and forth on each other.  If you see things that make you feel good you see good in the things you see, and if you see things that make you feel bad you see more bad in the things you see.  If I show you the picture for the first time you have ever seen it and tell you to look for the Ugly Old Woman I can guide what you see, think, feel, and do.  If I show you ten different pictures and guide you to see things one way, you will begin to look at pictures in a different way.

When I first moved to El Paso, having grown up in the Bay Area of California, I saw the surrounding landscape to be desolate and barren.  There was an abundance of brown where there should be green.  It was like the heat that came with it, something to be endured.  It wasn’t until I began spending countless hours sitting silently out in it that I slowly changed my thinking, my feeling, and how I saw this beautiful desert.  It is rugged.  Part of its beauty is in it ruggedness.  Not a lot of fancy frills or make up here.  It doesn’t need it, it will tell you, if you listen.  You learn that she dares you.  She makes it clear that you probably aren’t tough enough for her.  You grew up with Kim and here is Rhonda checking your ass out!  She knows she can kick yours and you know it too.  That is a whole different kind of woman.  Kim was Kim, but Rhonda sits right up in the front seat, too.  Things can change.  Things can change you and you can change things.  And you can change you.  You can change yourself and you can be changed.  Let me change that to You will change yourself and you will be changed as change is the one constant in life.

So, let’s move to a more down to Earth part of this.  In every aspect of your life you are presented with a three dimensional video instead of the picture of the ladies.  But, the same rules apply.  You see what you see and what you see can be seen differently by others, and what is seen by you and others can be changed.  Remember that what you see affects the way you look at things, feel about things, everything.  And vice versa.  If you chose to look for the ugly you will find it everywhere.  Look for beauty.  After you have found it, look for the ugly to get a balanced view, but look for beauty as your default position.  Look for good. They are both there but seeing the good will help take away the energy of the bad.  They are there in equal amounts, but the choice is yours to make on which one you look for first.  You see, it doesn’t diminish your ability to examine closely when needed.  What is does do is allow you to see, think, feel, and be positive, good, seeing beauty when you aren’t having to do critical examination. That beats the Hell out of the opposite, seeing, thinking, feeling and being negative, bad, and seeing ugly as your default way of living.

Beware of guides who want badly to have you join them in their search for ugly.  Misery loves company.  I am as serious as a heart attack about this one.  Guides will ruin you if you let them.  And the thing is, they are in a world of ugly so the way they see things allows them a lot of latitude when it comes to providing guidance.  They are needy.  That is a side affect of that life.  Misery needs company.

So, if you are looking for the beauty, help others if they need guidance. If they are seeing nothing start them off with looking for beauty.  If they see ugly as their default position you have to ask yourself if they want to change.  If they do, and just need help it is one thing.  If they want to drag you into the abyss that is another.

I have a plan.  It is a very simple plan and easy to follow and teach others.  It is what I used on a few occasions when I taught school and as the Foreman of a production plant.  It starts at the beginning. Make the choice to start with the good.  That is not where you stop, but it is where you start.  Do the best you can with the understanding that some times you best will be better than at other times. Now, I always needed a plan for them to follow.  Boxes that could be checked off, signifying accomplishment.  It always started off incredibly easy.  We set goals that couldn’t be not achieved.  Because in order to build a foundation for success it has to be built on and with success.  I found that once a person is on the right track and has a little momentum built up, they continue to stay on track, want to stay on track, resist going off track and can be a mighty example for others to follow who need it and can relate.  In this case, we start with looking for beauty for the day.  You can not fail this!  You can only do the best you can, today. If you have to shorten the time to be successful, do it.  When you are sure you can lengthen the time, do it. Start counting and setting records.  If you go eight days without having an ugly day.  Get back on track and start a new run at the record.  Do the best you can.  You can not fail!  YOU CAN NOT FAIL AT THIS IF YOU TRY AND STICK TO THE PLAN! The absolute worst that can happen is that you can avoid being in the ugly world perhaps not a long enough amount of time.

I don’t expect this to cure the world.  But, if it changes one person from being a miserable human being seeing ugly and bad into a happy person who sees beauty and good I have accomplished wish to not only see it but help others if they can’t.  Most people don’t need this, but this is to tell them that they too can influence others. Go see, and look for good.  Be an example. Be the light. See the good, be the good and if needed help someone else to see the good.